Why You’ll Definitely Hate Going on a Cruise (So You Should Book One Anyway)
Ahoy, landlubbers! We know you’ve heard all the buzz about cruises — the endless buffet lines, the luxurious pools, the sunbathing with a piña colada in hand. But let's be real, you'd definitely hate it, right? The unthinkable boredom. The overwhelming relaxation. The sheer joy of having everything handed to you without lifting a finger. Horrible. Absolutely horrible. But since you're likely going to book one anyway, here’s why you should go ahead and suffer through it.
1. The Dreadful Views
Picture this: You’re on a deck overlooking the endless ocean, the sky painted in pastel hues as the sun sets in all its glory. A perfect view of pure tranquility… Yeah, it’s terrible. You’ll probably have to take so many photos that your camera will burst from the sheer number of memories you're forced to make. Do you really want to spend your time relaxing with thatview? Not really, but hey, it’s what you’ll be stuck with for the next week or so.
2. The Crushing Too Much Fun
What’s the worst thing about a cruise? The non-stop activities that force you to have fun. From salsa lessons to trivia nights and water slides that’ll make you feel like a kid again, there’s just no escape from this relentless good time. Can you imagine being so busy having fun that you forget to complain about your vacation? Ridiculous, right? The stress of constant smiles will definitely get to you.
3. A Buffet of Despair
You could eat your weight in food. You could eat all day, every day, without ever thinking about nutrition or real cooking. With literally hundreds of options—sushi, steak, pizza, ice cream, everything—you’ll be so overwhelmed with choice, you won’t even know what to eat first! What a nightmare, right? And let’s not even talk about the midnight buffet. Trying to decide whether you’re hungry enough for one more piece of cheesecake or not will haunt your dreams.
4. The Awful Crew
Everyone talks about the amazing crew, and for good reason. They’re there to greet you with a smile, help you with anything you need, and entertain you when you least expect it. But let’s face it, isn’t that just too much niceness for one vacation? If you wanted to be pampered with kindness, attention, and good service, maybe stay home and have your pet take care of you instead. Oh wait, your pet is probably too busy.
5. Escaping to Exotic Locations
Sure, the cruise stops at beautiful, exotic islands and historical sites. Do you really want to spend time walking on a pristine beach? Or exploring a charming European village? Sounds exhausting, right? You’ll be stuck pretending to enjoy the stunning landscapes, but trust us—by the time you’ve taken a thousand selfies and snuck in one more drink, you’ll be yearning for the daily grind of emails and long meetings.
6. The No Escape Policy
The worst thing about a cruise? You're trapped. There’s no way out once you're on board. You can’t leave for the duration of the voyage, which means you’ll be surrounded by... fun? Fun everywhere you go! That might be a deal-breaker for those who enjoy the soul-crushing panic of work emails and endless responsibilities.
7. The Sunburn
Let’s be real: there’s no escaping that glorious tan. With the constant sunshine and relaxation by the pool, you’ll inevitably acquire a golden glow. Oh, the horror of being that person who is constantly complimented on how well-rested and radiant they look. The constant whispers about how great you look on vacation will haunt you forever.
Conclusion: Book a Cruise Anyway, Because It’s Actually Awesome
Now that we’ve completely terrified you with all the reasons why you should avoid going on a cruise (just kidding, we know you’re sold), go ahead and book that trip. Prepare yourself for endless relaxation, wonderful food, stunning views, and unforgettable memories. Or, you know, get on board and suffer through the "fun" for a few days. Either way, it’s going to be the best (and worst) vacation you’ll ever have!
Contact us today and we'll help you find your perfect (terrible) cruise, just email us on customers@there.travel, or call us on 0113 323 9303.
